NEWS ADVISORY: Parade of the Princess is CANCELED due to rain clouds!

I am a young urban professional. I am considered a yuppie. I earn big, spend big and have an “officer” title to come along with it! I belong to that group, to that “so-called class”. In a few days from now I will become a bonafide 25 year old female trying to juggle both a stable career and a blossoming love life. I started young, I was ambitious and I worked my way up the corporate ladder. Yes, it may be true that I was lucky to be able to work with great companies that saw my potential and helped me develop that potential, but I worked hard for it. And I offer no apologies, not to anyone not even to myself, as to how I achieved this position. I shouldn’t be guilty for earning big money. Simply because of the fact that I worked for it, I used my skills and talents to get me to where I am now. And no one should ever make me feel guilty for it.

I fell in love with a great guy (and still very much in love). He’s someone who’s smart, good, talented and with lots of potential. Yes, it is true that life hasn’t been very kind with him. Whatever he has now he worked hard for it. He wasn’t born with a silver spoon in his mouth but he’s the man I chose to love. I don’t mind. He makes me happy and he loves me. After all it’s just social classes and nothing more!

He works hard to make me happy. To give me the things that he thinks I need and want. But what he couldn’t understand was the fact that I wasn’t that kind of person. I don’t need things just to make me happy. I have had a lot of things already. Growing up, I almost had everything that I wanted and asked for, I know that kind of life and I am grateful for that, but I don’t need that much anymore. I saw it differently. He took it badly. He thought he wasn’t providing enough, so he worked harder. He thought I was undermining his capabilities despite the fact that his career was going great. He thought wrong…

I just wanted to take care of him, show him things that he hasn’t seen before. I had the means and I wanted to share it with him. I just wanted to take care of him. That was my perception. I only had good intentions. I never wanted to make him feel less of a man. But I guess sometimes issues with self-worth and ego comes into play. And in the heat of this heightened emotional disturbance, it causes for some people to say things that they don’t really mean…or maybe things that they really feel inside but never had the courage to say…

I am hurting right now. I am in pain and I am not ashamed to say it. I am confused and just plain dumbfounded. I can’t think straight. I can’t even come up with a good sentence to explain how I feel. I just want to stop the hurt. It is ironic how someone we love and claims to love us so much are the one’s who could do such damage to us. I just want the pain to stop…

Yes I earn big and I spend big...but I shouldn’t be made guilty for it. He is still the man in the relationship. I did everything he has asked of me and I have never made him feel less of a man. I don’t do things because I want it to be recognized, I do it because I want to take care of him. I don’t deserve this pain in my heart…I just want the pain to stop.

Today the parade of the Princess was stopped abruptly…because the rain clouds decided to show. The Princess is running away from the pain and she is sad and has nowhere to go. What she doesn’t realize is that she can’t escape this pain because it is seeded inside her heart. The Princess is wondering when the clouds will clear up…but until that day comes…it looks like the rain is here to stay.

The best things in life...

A friend of mine forwarded this list to me. And I was wondering how many of this “NATURAL HIGHS” have I had experienced in the past. So here it goes…

1. Falling in love (Yes…thank God I have experienced it. The real one, not the teeny bopper kind of love/infatuation/obsession. I was 24 when I felt the real one. It took me all this time to find him, all those past experiences to appreciate him and it took me just a couple of seconds to know that he was worth giving it a shot…Another mild side effect of falling love…it turned me to this mushy cheesy girl!)

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts (I like laughing. It can either be from all those embarrassing moments I have managed to accumulate all these years, or about some trivial thing. If there is one thing that I really like about my relationship with my boytoy, is the fact that he loves to laugh and to make me laugh. Which I must say is really great.

3. A hot shower (Love it! Well technically, I just like taking showers in general! After a very long tiring day a hot shower definitely helps soothes all of my aching muscles!!!)

4. No lines at the supermarket (With lines or no lines - I love going to the grocery store! I love doing groceries! I make it a point to take my time when I’m doing this task simply because it’s satisfying for me. Heck! I love it more than shopping for clothes and all those other girly stuff!)

5. A special glance (I love being in a relationship, but it’s really nice when every now and then, someone gives me a second look – the nice kind. It makes me think that other guys are still into me. Yes….you may call it shallow and so pathetic, but don’t we all just need to feel the sense of being appreciated by other people. Just voicing out what I think!)

6. Getting mail (Whether email, snail mail or even an SMS message (except for bills - those are mails too! Hehehe! – I couldn’t care less, as long as it’s addressed to me from someone I care, I’m pretty happy about it.

7. Taking a drive on a pretty road (I like long trips…I wonder when I’ll get the chance to drive a car by myself! Hmmm…can’t wait!)

8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio (And the best part of it all is singing along with it! So what if you can’t carry a tune, you don’t have to worry about other people’s ears, right?)

9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside (I like it when it rains. It has this calming effect on me! I especially like it when I’m in the arms of boytoy! Yes…I’m guilty of being mushy again – I just can’t help it…it is addictive!)

10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer (I like it also when boytoy dries my hair)

11. Chocolate milkshake/vanilla or strawberry (I like it while watching a great movie! A big fruit shake is also a blast!)

12. A bubble bath (One of the best things in life! As soon as I step into the bath tub, pulling me out would be quite impossible)

13. Giggling (Makes me feel like a high school kid all over again)

14. A good conversation (Either over hot coffee or just lazily hanging around the den. I love psychoanalyzing things, situations, people and events. And I’m equally lucky to have friends who are like that as well!)

15. The beach (If I ever get to win a million dollars this is what I would like to do: I would like to buy a house in the beach, quit my job and take my boytoy there to live with me forever! Some fairy tale!)

16. Finding 500 pesos in your coat (It’s like finding a treasure!)

17. Laughing at yourself (This is the secret of how to live longer – learn to take things lightly and learn to laugh at yourself. Don’t just forgive other people, one must also learn to forgive themselves as well)

18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you (I sometimes stop and stare at my boytoy because I am amazed at how much he loves me, and how much I feel that love from him. Although there are times that I doubt this love but when I look into his eyes…the fear just fades away)

19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours (This is the best! Late phone calls and early wake up calls from someone you love! It can’t get any better than that!)

20. Running through sprinklers (I haven’t tried that…but I like dipping my feet in water)

21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all (what can I say, laughing is the best medicine!)

22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful (I especially like it when I feel like crap, my hair is so messy and I just feel like nothing is going my way in terms of the beauty department – and my boytoy would say it with pure sincerity and honesty)

23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS (One thing great about having friends that you have know almost your entire life, is the fact that you don’t have to say anything, you guys just look at each other and you know exactly what the other person is saying especially if it’s something mean about other people! Hahaha!

24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you (Not that we are in constant need of finding approval from other people, but it does feel nice when this happens every now and then)

25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep (Very true)
26. Your first kiss - either the very first or with a new partner (I always catch myself having this weird smirk on my face every time I remember it!)

27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones (Spending time with old ones are the best! Reminiscing events that had happened in the past, laughing about past differences and all the other things that good old friends can think about!)

28. Playing with a new puppy (Those loving eyes and those cute furry friends – they’re all good until i get a good dose of asthma attack!)

29. Having someone play with your hair (I love it also when boytoy smells my hair every chance he gets. And then he kisses me in the forehead and my heart just skips a beat!)

30. Sweet dreams (Waking up and still remembering about it! And having someone to share it with in the morning!)

31. Hot chocolate (During cold, rainy days! Over good conversation!)
32. Road trips with friends (Everyone should get to experience this in their lives. It changes you, it makes you - you!)

33. Swinging on swings (It makes you feel free and as if your flying! Close your eyes when your on the swing and let your mind wander. A definite stress buster!)

34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger (Casual, harmless flirtations is okay – but being faithful to your partner is still the golden rule!)

35. Making chocolate chip cookies (And having the people you love eat it and love it!)

36. Having your friends send you homemade cookies (In my case it’s usually me sending my homemade cookies for them. I'm know for my killer cookies and they love it! What’s more to say?)

37. Holding hands with someone you care about (Doesn’t matter if we are on the bus, walking on a busy road or just lying on our bed…we just like to hold hands. Sense of connection and security all in one!)

38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change (So true…so true)

39. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you (I love giving gifts. And what I love the most about the gift giving part is the fact that I take the time to think about what gift to give! Just like in the famous credit card ad: pair of shoes $500, look on their face: PRICELESS!)

40. Watching the sunrise (And sunsets, and the stars. The moon when it’s a full moon! Sitting on the beach…all those things!)

41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day (AMEN!)

42. Knowing that somebody misses you (True…and you can’t wait to come back so that you may be able to give them a bear hug and a deep passionate kiss!)

43. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply (Hugs lifts depression! Try giving it and receiving it!)

44. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think (It’s hard but hey – it’s worth it! I just fell in love I’m not going to offer no apologies for it!)

Not Ready to make nice ~ Dixie Chicks

Forgive, sounds good.
Forget, I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I'm still waiting

I'm through, with doubt,
There's nothing left for me to figure out,
I've paid a price, and i'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

I know you said
Why can't you just get over it,
It turned my whole world around
and i kind of like it

I made by bed, and I sleep like a baby,
With no regrets and I don't mind saying,
It's a sad sad story
That a mother will teach her daughter
that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.
And how in the world
Can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Saying that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

Forgive, sounds good.
Forget, I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I'm still waiting

Princess Batmouse writes:

This song is my tribute to the person I used to love. Yes, you read it, correctly, I said used to. I’m over you. And I’m so over with the possibility of being with you. I’m happy now. Don’t think I’m bitter ~ I’m not, I never have been and I never will be. I have forgiven you, but I haven’t forgotten. Maybe some wounds never really heal, we just get so used to the pain that we become numb to it.

One day, after the storm has died down and the painful past stopped haunting you, you will soon realize that the wounds that you were nursing in your heart doesn't hurt anymore. When that happens, it's time to move on...

Bed bugs bit me to death…Woke up from the wrong side of the bed… The doctor tried to make me feel better…but she killed me instead.

Last night was rough, but I pretended to act tough. From noisy neighbors to asthma attacks, God please tell me, why won’t I just die? Out of sheer frustration, I decided to give myself something to help me ease the pain. I was pretending to be the world’s greatest doctor, but I’m sure as hell that was far from any truth. And so I took one white pill that promised me a lasting relief. But what’s taking so long for this magic pill to start making miracles? I closed my eyes and hoped to be gone. But I grew impatient and so I popped one more. It’s just another one, nothing more. I’m sure it’s no biggie just a few more….zzzz….

Next thing I knew, Boytoy was giving me my usual morning kiss, and told me that it was past 6:30, and that I should get going. Huh? How could it be true? I just closed my eyes, two minutes ago. My head was splitting from this terrible headache; God, I think 2 pills were too much. But I couldn’t care less; hey it gave me relief from the asthma attack, but its effect is taking a toll on me. I told my boytoy to give me a pain killer to get some relief from the pain. He gave me a quizzical look but dared not to ask: I took a pill to stop the asthma attack, which gave me a terrible headache and so I’m taking a new pill to stop the headache…do you think I’ll get another asthma attack? Hmm…

I don’t know how, but boytoy managed to get me dressed. And so off I went with a big buzzing sound in my head...I took 2 now looked where it led me to. I feel so groggy, I looked high. I can feel my body just floating in the sky. But as I went down the bus, my feet failed me and I fell flat on the ground.

This must be how an addict feels. Feels like it isn’t real… Bed bugs bit me to death and I woke up from the wrong side of the bed. The doctor tried to make me feel better but she killed me instead. And the biggest irony of them all, I was the doctor who ordered me dead!

Who is this man beside me?

I can feel a light breeze brushing my cheeks, coming from my window. I could hear that darn next door neighbor starting to cause some kind of riot…and I could hear that irritating sound coming from the push cart of that Julie’s bread man circling around our village. Argghhh…This can’t be true, please don’t tell me it’s already morning. I still want to close my eyes, I’m still tired…Please tell me I'm just dreaming, I don’t want to go to work. Not yet, I still want to curl up in bed. God, please…just five more minutes.

Just as I’ve allowed myself to be intoxicated again by the addictive power of sleep, I felt someone’s arm pulling me closer…I felt his warm body engulfing my cold skin, as if a sudden rush of security filled my entire being. Then this gorgeous man kissed my forehead and said, “Good morning sleepy head! I think someone should start getting ready for work”, I smiled weakly and nodded. But I dared not to move, I was so mesmerized by this man, who was lying beside me with his arms around me. I must have done something really nice to deserve this man. How could he love me despite my misgivings? I really don’t know what he sees in me. He must really like what he’s seeing because we have been dancing to this same tune for over a year now! Then I find myself staring at his face. He was lightly sleeping; he looked so peaceful, it’s as if he was so comfortable being by my side. Maybe it’s the weight of my stare because he opened his eyes suddenly and smiled…

I felt my face turn red…He then touched my face, smiled and said…I love you…then he went back to sleep again.

I smiled, gave him a quick kiss on his forehead then told him, I love him! I really like sleepovers! It’s so nice to wake up with someone you love beside you…Thank God for this man beside me.